Don't Grow Up - It's a Trap

Josh and I on our sweet rides

Do you remember when you first learned how to ride a bike?  How long did it take for you to lose the training wheels?  Odds are that one of your parents, siblings or friends took the time and patience to teach you.  Someone took the time to watch you try and try and would help you every time you would wipe out.

For me it was my mom, or at least I was told, and she said it didn't take me to long to ditch the training wheels and feel the freedom that is riding a bike.  She shared memories with me tonight about time I would ride downtown to get something from Larry's Groceries and take a detour or two along the way home.  She said I loved learning how to ride because it opened me to so many other things outside of my own front yard.   

So many things, like learning to ride a bike, is part of a "typical" childhood.  Our childhood is spent mostly having fun and learning.  From writing, drawing, swinging from the monkey bars, and playing tag - we took it all in and opened our minds to be filled with so many things.  But many times in our lives we get caught up in our "adulthood" and forget what it is like to be a kid again.

One of my favorite parts of coming back home is going to school with my parents and working in my mom's classroom.  Both of my parents are Elementary teachers - my dad retired a few years back but still fills in as a substatuite teacher from time to time and my mom has a room filled daily with third graders.  Tonight I went to my old elementary school to help in my mom's room for the annual holiday music concert.  Every year since I was a small kindergrartner and many years even before then, our school's music teacher, Ms. Burnside, would put on the most wonderful concerts.  The gym would always be packed with family and friends as they watch rows of children sing their hearts out on a stage surrounded by bright decorations and framed by black curtains.


Tonight's concert was no different.  I watched my mom's third graders sing about going to grandma's house with jingle bells on their little wrists and stomped their feet as they asked Santa for no more slippers for Christmas.  Afterwards back in their classroom I was quickly asked what I thought of the performance.  I told them they all did wonderful and was answered by toothy grins and some not so toothy grins.  They talked with my mom about who they all saw in the crowd from their families - moms, dads, grandparents, neighbors - they noticed them all from up on the stage.  Then they all started listening to a story about Clifford the Big Red Dog as I continued to work with some of them one on one to finish their stocking project.  After the story, they played a quick game of 7-Up - remember the game where you put your head on your desk as a few selected others would run around and put your thumb down.  Some them of gently push your thumb as they giggled and then others would give it a quick slam and run away.  Then you would raise your head and try to guess who had pushed on your thumb.

It seems so odd to think that it truly comes down to the simple things - listening to a story, playing a simple game, and sharing who supports you.  As adults we make these things seem so unimportant, but to kids they are at the top of the list.  Kids are so eager to learn, to try, and to share, where as us as adults we tend to be guarded, stubborn, and unwilling to change.  When did we forget to be kids?

As I finished up my time with the students tonight I was also reminded that some children don't get that "normal" childhood.  Not every child has someone to teach them how to ride a bike or to come to their holiday concert and that will bring me to tears almost every time.  But then you see one of their school friends step up and tell them they did a great job and that their slippers are really cool, and all seems good again.  Not every childhood is a great one or a perfect one, and sometimes it doesn't seem fair.  But as I told many times growing up - life isn't always fair.  They will be hard times, good times, times when you want to give up, and times when all you want is your mom.  And that never changes no matter how old you are.


So don't forget to have some fun today, to learn something new, and most of all love your life, no matter if it doesn't always seem fair.  And when you get the chance, make the time and have the patience be there for a little one in your life and to teach them something - trust me they will truly appreciate every moment of it.  And most of all, remember to never lose your inner child and to let her enjoy the wind in her hair ever once in awhile. 

It is not the heat, it is the humidity

So here is a little pop quiz.

On Friday in Royalton, MN, it was -11 degrees with a 5 mph wind, while in Mason City, IA, it was 15 degrees with a 15 mph wind.  Which place is "colder?"

When I moved up to Alaska, most people said the same thing - Oh boy, I bet that will be cold!  And don't get me wrong, it was cold.  Many times when I would travel to Fairbanks and Delta Junction and it would be -20, -30 and yes, -40 degree weather.  Up there it's completely normal to have a block heater hooked up to your car when it was parked overnight and to leave the engine running while delivering daffodils because if you didn't they would freeze.  Ever smelled thawing daffodils?  It is ain't a pretty smell.

But I learned something about being cold when I moved back to Iowa after my time in Alaska - once you hit 10 degrees, it just feels cold no matter the number, but once you add in a 25 mph wind, well that is down right cold.  Iowa is a tricky state, it can seem to be really nice outside until your eye wonders down to the wind report on weather.com and then your day automatically changes.  You look out and think, "Mmmm.  What a beautiful day, I should get out and ride!"  Then you walk outside and bam!  You are hit with a 20 mph wind gust that fills your lungs with the smell of sunshine and barn.  Yum.

But as bad as the wind can make a sunny, warm day in July, it only makes it 500 million, bagillion times worse in the winter.  You know you phase - it isn't the heat it is the humidity?  Well in the midwest it should be changed in the winer to it isn't the subzero temps, it is the soul sucking wind chill.  Wind that makes your face feel like it is going to fall off as you walk around the corner of a building and straight into a new direction of wind.

Braving the cold at the Hollidazzle Parade
 with Rachel, myself, Carl and Amber

This past weekend I traveled down to the the Twin Cities for my Birthday celebration.  The weekend consisted of some typical "Minnesotan" things - trip to the Mall of America and IKEA followed by the Hollidazzle Parade and dinner.  I had friends from both the Cities and Iowa coming to celebrate the big 2-8 with me.  On top of a recent snowfall, the state was enjoying the sunshine and cold temps that followed the storm.  Nothing says welcome to winter like doing the no-jacket-shuffle up seven flights of stairs in a over crowded parking garage, listening to how your friends managed to get their cuddle duds to fit under their skinny jeans, and of course by spending 30 minutes bundling up your body to stand and watch a lighted parade in downtown Minneapolis for 5 minutes before running back to your heated hotel room.

As much as I may complain about the cold, I know that it is what makes me stronger as a person.  You know you are a true Minnesotan when you are willing to bypass your shoes to run out to your car quick to grab your cellphone.  But the best part about living where it is cold, is finding out the things that truly make you warm.  From spending time with friends and family to remembering why you love the state you were raised in and recently moved back to.  The fun conversations shared over a fireplace; new games played while eating pickle dip in a warm hotel room; and the joy that a remote car start brings to your life.  Things that truly make you warm inside.

At the end of day, it may be cold outside and the wind may blow but all the memories that happen while trying to stay warm makes it totally worth it.  Because in the end the best part of being cold is that you can only get warmer.  That is, unless the wind picks up.

My New Boyfriend

So since my move back to Minnesota I have quiety been seeing someone new.  He is someone that I have gone out with before, but never really could fully commit to but now that I have some extra time on my hands I am really hoping to make it work this time.  Now I don't want to jinx it by introducing him too soon to those around me, but here goes - my favorite new guy is Gym.

Did I get ya?  Well all of what I said is true - except maybe the part that would imply Gym is a real person.  Sorry about that - my bad.  But I do look at working out much like a relationship.  There are times with you love spending hours together and then there are times where seconds seem like they are crawling by and you can't wait to leave.  There are days were you get a ton of alone time together and others when you need to share him with some pesky senior citizens who want all of Gym's time too.  But just like any other relationship, it comes down to staying true to each other through the good and the bad.

Now that cycling season is long gone and as I prepare for my first Minnesotan winter back home (projecting over half a foot of snow and subzero temps this week), I knew I needed to restart my relationship with Gym.  I also went into it this time with a true goal - the 2014 30 Day Bicycle Challenge starts on April 1st - only 4 months away!  I wanted to make sure I used this winter to get bike ready - that meant getting much stronger and much lighter.  I had some great rides last summer and pushed my body, but I knew if I really focused in the winter I could get rid of some extra post-ride beer weight and get my body much stronger for that first day of riding.  And that's where Gym comes in.

But you see Gym and I have been here before.  I say I will go and I do... for a few weeks and then I just kind of find a reason to not go.  I have a cold.  I am gone for a few days and don't have time.  It is too cold to drive all that way.  And the best one of all - I will see him tomorrow.  So I did what any person does when they need help with a relationship - Gym and I went to counseling .  I worked with a old friend of mine and put together some new workouts that I can do on my own so my workout ADD doesn't set in.  He is also helping Gym and I stay true to each other but checking in on when I make time for Gym and also giving advice and new workouts when needed.

So I am still in week one of dating Gym again, but so far it is going well.  My first round of soreness has passed and I can finally walk up my stairs without tearing up.  And I am finding my time spent with Gym to be well worth it.  My hope is that I can find true love with Gym this time and grow old together - well at least until cycling season...   

Peace Out 27... Helllllooo 28!

Me and the Longhaul Survivor

OK, I know many girls don't like to tell their age, but yes today is my 28th birthday!  Not 25th, like a few in Mason City would like to think, but 28.  The big 2.8.  I have been alive for 28 years. I have filled over 245,000 hours with either sleep or memories - some good and some bad.  28 years ago I was being brought into this world.  Still is hard to believe.

Hanging by the Lake in Clear Lake

My 27th year of life was one with many ups and downs.  I was settling into my new home in Dubuque, which I would also move from in the same year.  I was trying to meet new people while working in new communities with new volunteers.  I was learning a new part of Iowa - one that was filled with many hills and valleys.

Getting our Zip On in Dubuque

There were many new things that happened this last year, but some things stayed the same while still changing.  I continued to grow my existing friendships while letting some go.  I continued to be involved in the fight against cancer and then deciding to take a break from it.  I continued to try and better myself and while continuing to try and find the meaning of life - all while I was still trying to find myself.  And in the middle of this all - I got in some truly great biking!

Sir Hudson

This last year I was able to travel to Golden, CO; Bayfield, Trempealeau, Madison, and New Diggins, Wis; Galena, Ill; Sioux Falls, SD; and many places in between.  I celebrated many birthdays of my friends along with engagements.  I saw my dad be inducted in our Royalton High School Hall of Fame.  I watch the little ones in my life grow taller and taller and said final goodbyes to former teachers and friends who passed away.  I got closer to some familiar friends and met some amazing new ones.  I moved back in with my parents and became a member of my hometown once more.  I bought a new car and left an old job.  I attended many Relay For Life events, downtown Dubuque concerts, sold a few beers and learned "youes guys" is part of the English language - well at least in Dubuque it is.  And did I mention I got in some great biking??

A Sunday ride with Eric and Chris

I rode my bike 30 days in a row.  I rode some of the largest hills my handle bars have ever seen.  I became part of cycling groups and even help start a new one.  I rode my bike in a new state - Wisconsin.  I was able to ride around an island with my mom.  My bikes survived hundreds of miles on the top of my car and even a freak snowstorm or two.  I learned how to ride as a group, as a unit trying to working together.  I even rode with the boys (and kept up!).  I started a blog about my biking lessons (ps - thank you for reading it!) and learned that bonks do hurt, but you still have to get up that hill.  I have almost been killed while riding - kids, don't text and drive, especially on county roads.  My cycling taught me a lot this past year - lessons learned on the road, memories made after the wheels stopped turning and the beer was opened, and friendship formed in between belly laughs and several, "Oh s**t that is a big hill!"  I wear my RoadID ever day on my wrist and every day when I look at it I think of all the memories that have been made because of it.    

My dad and I kayaking on the Mississippi

When I think back over this last year, one filled with so many changes, and look at the pictures I took and think of the memories I made, all I can think is what will year 28 bring?  A new job?  A new home?  New friends?  Learning new things?  I hope so to all of those while also I hope it lets me continue to grow in my relationships and in my life.  I hope my 28th year continues to bring my challenges and successes.  I hope it continues to fill my days with fun memories and tearful goodbyes.  To continue to give me some Yin here and some Yang there.  I can only hope that my 28th year is simply filled with life.   

My mom and I at "A Prairie Home Companion"

Thank you to everyone who made my 27th year a memorable one.  You have filled the last year with so much joy and so many blessings.  Thank you to my parents for the increased support this last year and for also giving birth to be!  Thank you to all my family and friends - you fill my heart and remind me why I this life is so very worth it.

Good bye 27, hello 28 - I can't wait to see what you have in store for me!

This might hurt a little...

The other night my friend Natalee told me about a girl she knew who moved every year or so due to her work.  This girl made the comment to Natalee that if it didn’t hurt when she moved that she knew she didn’t truly become a part of the community or meet an amazing people.  I completely understood this idea.  

 In the last ten years, I have lived in five different towns in three different states, with my longest “residency” being in Forest City, IA, for three years while I was going to college.  Beyond that I spent 1.5 years in Anchorage, AK; 1.5 years in Clear Lake, IA; 2 years in Mason City, IA; and 1 year in Dubuque, IA.  And now, once again, I have to say goodbye.  And it hurts. 

Recently I had to make some very hard decisions in my life and my career which resulted in stepping away from my job. Because of this, I had to make the decision to move once again, but this time to somewhere all too familiar – my hometown of Royalton, MN – and to gain two new roommates: my parents.  (We will leave more about this for another blog)

Another great ride by the Mississippi

While making these decisions was not easy, what made it even harder was the idea that I would have to leave Dubuque – a city that I have come to love in the last year.  I will admit that it wasn’t a happy harmony when I first moved to Eastern Iowa, but soon I feel into a grove that filled my soul.  I took in countless views of valleys filled with every changing colors and smells.  I enjoyed 30 days straight of biking the rolling road and drinking up views of the Mississippi from behind my handlebars.  And I met some amazing people who have truly changed my life for the better. 

A fun night at Fat Tuesdays

People who I can only hope and pray to stay in touch with and continue to be apart of their lives.  It is because of everything I have expirence – good and bad – that makes this hurt so very hard.  The thought of saying goodbye would bring me to tears and actually doing it only made more run down my face.  This is the reason this hurts so much - a aching heart is the worst pain anyone will ever feel. 

Celebrating Gayle's Birthday!

Dubuque, even though short lived, had a huge impact on my life - this is where I started to change myself.  How I have grown as a person and the changes I have made in my life and how I live it came from living there.  The awareness that I have gained on how important this one life is and to continue to fill it with so many amazing memories and people.  This is turning into another hard goodbye. 

A night out with Eric in Galena

But maybe it doesn’t have to be a FULL goodbye – maybe just a “Hey, I will see you soon.”  Because I know I will be back, maybe not as a resident, but defiantly as a visitor.  A visitor who will truly appreciate a great Bob-on-the-Rocks at Fats on a Saturday night.  A visitor who knows to not play Dubuque Euchere unless you bring your "A" game.  And finally a visitor who gets to see and catch up with the one thing that make Dubuque so very special – my friends here. 

Jodi, Jen and I

 So with that, my dearest Dubuque, thank you for the memories.  Thank you for the struggles.  Thank you for people.  Keep being the amazing town that you are and until we meet again – thanks for the ride.   

Finding My Tribe

Almost every day new people walk into our lives.  From the friendly macanic changing your oil to random coffee lovers at Starbucks- every day we walk with so many new faces that we have never met before.  But what is it about certain people that makes us become instant friends?  Is it having the same love for Pinterest recipes?  Or a passion for long Sunday drives?  Or attending the same church or civic group?  Who do we add to our "Tribe" and why?

I was recently watching a Shas of Sunset (yes, I am addicted to reality TV) and one of them referenced their group of friends as their tribe.  I instantly loved that thought.  But what I loved even more was the idea that a person could have different sets of tribes.  And that is what I love about my various groups of friends - we are all friends for different reasons, but we all seem to have the same thread that keeps us all laughing.

Sad faces after a member of our Work Tribe, Jen, moved

After I moved to Dubuque a year ago, I became so much closer to my coworkers in my new office.  I knew Jodi, Cindy, and Jen fairly well over the years that we had worked on the same team, but I didn't know that quite as friends yet. Quickly we formed a great work tribe that included breakfast potlucks, a dammit doll, and hours spent together working on the fight against cancer.  Soon they all became friends first, and coworkers second. 

Then as I started to get involved in the Dubuque community, I attended my first Dubuque Jaycees meeting.  As a former member of the Mason City chapter, I knew this would be a great way to meet other young professionals in the area.  I quickly became involved in their various community services events, by selling beer tickets, and attending social gatherings.  From this group I met my cycling partner, Eric.  Eric then led me to my Bike Tribe.  From the fast paced Monday night group to the veteran riders of the Thursday night group, I quickly became part of the ride.  From these groups we even started our own rides and The Flat Iowa Society.  I love sharing the roads with all members of my bike tribe and miss seeing them on a weekly basis now that the sun is setting so soon and the chill of winter is starting to sting.

The Ring Master, Bearded Lady and Strong Man at my 27th Birthday!

One of my favorite things about my tribes is when they hold true dispite the miles.  My Mason City friends are one of the reasons I keep coming back to visit and to relax.  This past week I had been in town for about four days and loved to fill my time with laughter from all of the faces I don't get to see on a regular basis anymore.  Together as a group we have celebrated success and failurs, engagements and breakups, and sunshine and clouds.  But we got through all of them together and in the process formed a Birthday Tribe.  A group of us always block out the calendar to get together to celebrate our Birthdays during the year.  Many times these parties have fun themes (crazy cat lady, ribbons and curls, BACON, etc), activities, and of course cake. No matter where any of us of live, we all manage to try and the make the trip to celebrate of our favorite day of the year. 

I think in life we are constantly adding new tribes of friends - your college tribe, your high school tribe, former places of work/living tribes.  Many times these tribes shrink and grow over the years as people make changes that result in becoming closer or farther apart - both personally and physically.  The challenge is always to decide which tribes is worth keeping and which are ok to grow out of as we continue to change in our lives. But at the end of the day, to make sure you are in a tribe that supports you and brings out your best.  Ones that pick you up when you fall with undying support and love.  Those, my friends, are the best tribes to be a part of.

To those of you who I am blessed to call members of my various tribes - thank you.  You all have made the challenging parts of my life ones where I feel nothing but support and love.  Please know that every kind word you have expressed and every hug (*shutter*) have been heard and felt and truly appreciated over the years.  Keep being the amazing friends that you are to so many people and thank you for letting me be a part of your tribe.  Nothing makes me happier than adding new and amazing people to my life and to my tribe.  

A Pocket Full of Sunshine

There are days when I could do with not watching the news.  Suicide bombers, school shootings, lying, cheating - all of it can wear you down.  A guilty pleasure of mine is watching the Real Housewives of...well.. of anywhere.  But I have noticed that many times the reality of "reality TV" and the realness of the daily news paired with the newly shorten day can leave a person feeling pretty down and out.  Lately that has been happening to me - as the darkness of the days gets longer and longer and the sunshine filled hours of biking the Dubuque countryside turn only into memories, you forget what it warmth feels like.  But, today I, well today I felt like a fresh pot of coffee steaming with warmth.

I left early this morning to head to Cedar Falls for a meeting.  As the sun started to crest over the valley I live in, I rolled my car onto the road with only a quarter tank of gas.  While I was on Hwy 20,  I pulled off and into Epworth to fill up my tank.  Before this summer, I had no idea what or where this city was.  But now after many rides starting, ending, and rolling through this community, I was more than happy to spend some cash on some much needed gas.

As I finished filling my tank and made a quick walk to the front door of the gas station, I saw a man who had just finished filling his truck walk towards the same door.  As we neared the doors he did something very unexpected - he opened it for me.  And not just a open-walk-through-and reach-back kind of hold, but grab the door and stepped to the side into the 20 mph fall wind and let me walk in first.  It took me a moment to understand what was happening.  Now I have some guy friends who do this for me, but a male stranger?  This was a first.  As I strolled inside and felt the warmth of the store, I took a moment to give him a genuine thank you.  Huh.  Maybe there are some nice people out there.

Then as I continued down the road and into Cedar Falls, I saw another act of random kindness.  Off of the University exit a car had stalled and two people where out pushing it to the dealership was only a block away.  As I came down the exit ramp, a man jumped out of the passenger side of his Subaru in his fresh pressed suit and starting pushing the car from the back as his wife turned on her hazard lights and followed behind slowly.  Again, this was a new sight for me.

Getting help riding across the bridge... or what was left of it

The sights and actions I witnessed today truly reminded me that there is some good out there.  That many times they are small random acts of kindness that may go unnoticed, but other times are seen and felt by others.  At times this summer these same random acts would occur on my rides - from sharing a water bottle or energy gel to helping haul your bike over a bridge that was missing the front and back part of it.  Many of these acts will not be news stories that you see at 5 o'clock or watch on reality TV, but in the reality of everyday life - they happen.  When you least expect it and forgot to watch for - they happen.  So to all of you who went out of your way to help someone else today - thank you.  I can guarantee you made their day a better one.  And with the wind turning colder and the leaves finally falling as winter starts to approach, everyone could use a little sunshine and warmth in their day.