Winter Driving On Our Road

The other day we had a true Minnesotan March snowstorm, complete with 10 inches of heavy wet snow that fell constantly during the day.  The days beforehand had been filled with the start of a spring thaw and residents enjoying the warm weather and dry roads.

And then bam.  Life slowed down once the white stuff started to fly.  My normal commute was greeted by red taillights.

If I have learned anything from my years of winter driving is that the key is to appreciate clear roads, as you never know when that road might change.  It can be a road that you drive every day and know like the back of your hand, but add some snow with a side of ice and that "normal" drive turns difficult.  Every day of our road can change - sometimes we can prepare for the changes and sometimes you truly don't see it coming before it is too late, and we are left with only memories of when the road was clear and easy.

Amber and I in 2005

This week I witnesss a friend's road in life completely change.  Amber and I had become fast friends when we were at high school and working at the Royalton Dairy Queen.  She was from Little Falls and I thought she was (and still is!) the coolest thing since sliced bread.  Her blond locks were in dreads, ears were gaged out, lip pierced and her skin covered in tattoos.  She was everything I felt I couldn't be or pull off and somehow she did it will flair and confidence that I envied.  Amber and I logged hours upon hours together at the DQ, and I loved every moment of working with her.  Many times after late weekend nights at work, we would road trip to the IHOP in St. Cloud for pancakes and a rendition of "Sugar...danna danna dan da...Oh Honey, Honey" supported by dancing sugar and honey packets.  

When I left for college, and Amber a year later, we tried to stay in touch.  She would send me postcards to add to my collection, and we would try to get to together when were both back in town, especially for a late night movie on Christmas and Chinese food.  We would both share life updates and different experiences we had both been going through.  As the years came and went, our catch-ups would tend to get farther and farther a part, but none the less we would always try to find time.  I was so honored to be invited to her wedding a few years ago and be a part of her and Jason's road.  And this winter, she even braved the cold to come to watch the Hollidazel parade for my Birthday.  We weren't always a part of each other's daily lives, but we were there when it matter the most.  This week really drove that message home to me.

Sunday I received a text from Amber that her Dad had passed away unexpectantly and that she would be in town for most of the week.  My heart immediately sank and went into response mood - what happened and how can I help?  As the week unfolded, Amber and I were able to get together at Perkins, and she shared everything that had happened and all that she was trying to deal with in the aftermath - funeral plans, title transfers, and, the oddly painful yet blissful, going through of old pictures.  I didn't know Amber's dad all that well except from the stories she would tell me and the beautiful pictures she had posted of him on Facebook over the years.  And when time finally came for the wake, although I was completely saddened by his passing, it was seeing the tears in Amber's eyes that completely broke my heart.  My friend was missing a part of her normal road.



It is so bitter sweet when we lose someone we love, and you start to think about the memories - the time traveled together on our road.  Many times after we start thinking about the memories shared, we start thinking about the upcoming events and memories to be made that they will not be able to be a part of now.  But we push on, we move forward and find ways to make our past be apart of our present.  New memories are made and old ones serve a constant reminder as we continue to move down our road.

Even though the road we travel in life is constantly changing, as much as the weather does, they are our roads.  There will be those along the way who join you in the ride and support you wihen your tank gets low, and then there are those special ones who we know are always watching over us and who help us keep it between the lines when the days get long.

In each other's lives, we have a role to play today, tomorrow and even beyond.  We walk into each other's lives and find a place where we fit and find comfort.  And even though some may physically leave their spot inside of us their spirit and memory never truly does.  Much like the potholes that start to form after a brutal winter, over time the holes that we feel will too be filled with their memory and ways they have shaped our life.  Soon those holes start mesh back into our everyday, ever changing road of life.  And our job is to simply enjoy the ride and to appreciate a good, dry - yet curvy - road.