This might hurt a little...

The other night my friend Natalee told me about a girl she knew who moved every year or so due to her work.  This girl made the comment to Natalee that if it didn’t hurt when she moved that she knew she didn’t truly become a part of the community or meet an amazing people.  I completely understood this idea.  

 In the last ten years, I have lived in five different towns in three different states, with my longest “residency” being in Forest City, IA, for three years while I was going to college.  Beyond that I spent 1.5 years in Anchorage, AK; 1.5 years in Clear Lake, IA; 2 years in Mason City, IA; and 1 year in Dubuque, IA.  And now, once again, I have to say goodbye.  And it hurts. 

Recently I had to make some very hard decisions in my life and my career which resulted in stepping away from my job. Because of this, I had to make the decision to move once again, but this time to somewhere all too familiar – my hometown of Royalton, MN – and to gain two new roommates: my parents.  (We will leave more about this for another blog)

Another great ride by the Mississippi

While making these decisions was not easy, what made it even harder was the idea that I would have to leave Dubuque – a city that I have come to love in the last year.  I will admit that it wasn’t a happy harmony when I first moved to Eastern Iowa, but soon I feel into a grove that filled my soul.  I took in countless views of valleys filled with every changing colors and smells.  I enjoyed 30 days straight of biking the rolling road and drinking up views of the Mississippi from behind my handlebars.  And I met some amazing people who have truly changed my life for the better. 

A fun night at Fat Tuesdays

People who I can only hope and pray to stay in touch with and continue to be apart of their lives.  It is because of everything I have expirence – good and bad – that makes this hurt so very hard.  The thought of saying goodbye would bring me to tears and actually doing it only made more run down my face.  This is the reason this hurts so much - a aching heart is the worst pain anyone will ever feel. 

Celebrating Gayle's Birthday!

Dubuque, even though short lived, had a huge impact on my life - this is where I started to change myself.  How I have grown as a person and the changes I have made in my life and how I live it came from living there.  The awareness that I have gained on how important this one life is and to continue to fill it with so many amazing memories and people.  This is turning into another hard goodbye. 

A night out with Eric in Galena

But maybe it doesn’t have to be a FULL goodbye – maybe just a “Hey, I will see you soon.”  Because I know I will be back, maybe not as a resident, but defiantly as a visitor.  A visitor who will truly appreciate a great Bob-on-the-Rocks at Fats on a Saturday night.  A visitor who knows to not play Dubuque Euchere unless you bring your "A" game.  And finally a visitor who gets to see and catch up with the one thing that make Dubuque so very special – my friends here. 

Jodi, Jen and I

 So with that, my dearest Dubuque, thank you for the memories.  Thank you for the struggles.  Thank you for people.  Keep being the amazing town that you are and until we meet again – thanks for the ride.   

Finding My Tribe

Almost every day new people walk into our lives.  From the friendly macanic changing your oil to random coffee lovers at Starbucks- every day we walk with so many new faces that we have never met before.  But what is it about certain people that makes us become instant friends?  Is it having the same love for Pinterest recipes?  Or a passion for long Sunday drives?  Or attending the same church or civic group?  Who do we add to our "Tribe" and why?

I was recently watching a Shas of Sunset (yes, I am addicted to reality TV) and one of them referenced their group of friends as their tribe.  I instantly loved that thought.  But what I loved even more was the idea that a person could have different sets of tribes.  And that is what I love about my various groups of friends - we are all friends for different reasons, but we all seem to have the same thread that keeps us all laughing.

Sad faces after a member of our Work Tribe, Jen, moved

After I moved to Dubuque a year ago, I became so much closer to my coworkers in my new office.  I knew Jodi, Cindy, and Jen fairly well over the years that we had worked on the same team, but I didn't know that quite as friends yet. Quickly we formed a great work tribe that included breakfast potlucks, a dammit doll, and hours spent together working on the fight against cancer.  Soon they all became friends first, and coworkers second. 

Then as I started to get involved in the Dubuque community, I attended my first Dubuque Jaycees meeting.  As a former member of the Mason City chapter, I knew this would be a great way to meet other young professionals in the area.  I quickly became involved in their various community services events, by selling beer tickets, and attending social gatherings.  From this group I met my cycling partner, Eric.  Eric then led me to my Bike Tribe.  From the fast paced Monday night group to the veteran riders of the Thursday night group, I quickly became part of the ride.  From these groups we even started our own rides and The Flat Iowa Society.  I love sharing the roads with all members of my bike tribe and miss seeing them on a weekly basis now that the sun is setting so soon and the chill of winter is starting to sting.

The Ring Master, Bearded Lady and Strong Man at my 27th Birthday!

One of my favorite things about my tribes is when they hold true dispite the miles.  My Mason City friends are one of the reasons I keep coming back to visit and to relax.  This past week I had been in town for about four days and loved to fill my time with laughter from all of the faces I don't get to see on a regular basis anymore.  Together as a group we have celebrated success and failurs, engagements and breakups, and sunshine and clouds.  But we got through all of them together and in the process formed a Birthday Tribe.  A group of us always block out the calendar to get together to celebrate our Birthdays during the year.  Many times these parties have fun themes (crazy cat lady, ribbons and curls, BACON, etc), activities, and of course cake. No matter where any of us of live, we all manage to try and the make the trip to celebrate of our favorite day of the year. 

I think in life we are constantly adding new tribes of friends - your college tribe, your high school tribe, former places of work/living tribes.  Many times these tribes shrink and grow over the years as people make changes that result in becoming closer or farther apart - both personally and physically.  The challenge is always to decide which tribes is worth keeping and which are ok to grow out of as we continue to change in our lives. But at the end of the day, to make sure you are in a tribe that supports you and brings out your best.  Ones that pick you up when you fall with undying support and love.  Those, my friends, are the best tribes to be a part of.

To those of you who I am blessed to call members of my various tribes - thank you.  You all have made the challenging parts of my life ones where I feel nothing but support and love.  Please know that every kind word you have expressed and every hug (*shutter*) have been heard and felt and truly appreciated over the years.  Keep being the amazing friends that you are to so many people and thank you for letting me be a part of your tribe.  Nothing makes me happier than adding new and amazing people to my life and to my tribe.  

A Pocket Full of Sunshine

There are days when I could do with not watching the news.  Suicide bombers, school shootings, lying, cheating - all of it can wear you down.  A guilty pleasure of mine is watching the Real Housewives of...well.. of anywhere.  But I have noticed that many times the reality of "reality TV" and the realness of the daily news paired with the newly shorten day can leave a person feeling pretty down and out.  Lately that has been happening to me - as the darkness of the days gets longer and longer and the sunshine filled hours of biking the Dubuque countryside turn only into memories, you forget what it warmth feels like.  But, today I, well today I felt like a fresh pot of coffee steaming with warmth.

I left early this morning to head to Cedar Falls for a meeting.  As the sun started to crest over the valley I live in, I rolled my car onto the road with only a quarter tank of gas.  While I was on Hwy 20,  I pulled off and into Epworth to fill up my tank.  Before this summer, I had no idea what or where this city was.  But now after many rides starting, ending, and rolling through this community, I was more than happy to spend some cash on some much needed gas.

As I finished filling my tank and made a quick walk to the front door of the gas station, I saw a man who had just finished filling his truck walk towards the same door.  As we neared the doors he did something very unexpected - he opened it for me.  And not just a open-walk-through-and reach-back kind of hold, but grab the door and stepped to the side into the 20 mph fall wind and let me walk in first.  It took me a moment to understand what was happening.  Now I have some guy friends who do this for me, but a male stranger?  This was a first.  As I strolled inside and felt the warmth of the store, I took a moment to give him a genuine thank you.  Huh.  Maybe there are some nice people out there.

Then as I continued down the road and into Cedar Falls, I saw another act of random kindness.  Off of the University exit a car had stalled and two people where out pushing it to the dealership was only a block away.  As I came down the exit ramp, a man jumped out of the passenger side of his Subaru in his fresh pressed suit and starting pushing the car from the back as his wife turned on her hazard lights and followed behind slowly.  Again, this was a new sight for me.

Getting help riding across the bridge... or what was left of it

The sights and actions I witnessed today truly reminded me that there is some good out there.  That many times they are small random acts of kindness that may go unnoticed, but other times are seen and felt by others.  At times this summer these same random acts would occur on my rides - from sharing a water bottle or energy gel to helping haul your bike over a bridge that was missing the front and back part of it.  Many of these acts will not be news stories that you see at 5 o'clock or watch on reality TV, but in the reality of everyday life - they happen.  When you least expect it and forgot to watch for - they happen.  So to all of you who went out of your way to help someone else today - thank you.  I can guarantee you made their day a better one.  And with the wind turning colder and the leaves finally falling as winter starts to approach, everyone could use a little sunshine and warmth in their day.